Web of Deceit

a tale of love, lust, desire and deceit

A little bit wary.

So, the thought of entering into something new is very scary. Its also had to know how much you give away of yourself. When you meet someone you quite like, you just show a small amount of yourself, and they do the same. As time goes by little by little you are brave enough to show a little more, however you always hold a little back. Not wanting to give all of yourself away.

You want to show the other person the best, as much and for as long as possible. My goodness they do the same, then slowly they show their insecurities, and you realise that you are not so dissimilar. Its a bit like being on a see-saw. Each time they go down, you balance it out by being buoyant and being up. When you go down and feel low, they balance you by giving you the time and support you need.

I knew I didn’t need anyone in my life particularly, however having someone around to enjoy the up moments and help shoulder the not such up moments is a nice thing to happen.

I don’t ever want to be completely reliant on another person again. Having had my fingers burnt badly, I know I am the best person to rely on. I like being with someone, and I like them. The ‘L’ word is the scary wary word. I am not sure I really want to use that with another person, unless its platonic Love.

So I am a little bit wary and cautious, I realise I need to give myself a wide berth, chill out and stay laid back. I have to think about myself and someone else. You have to factor them in to sometimes what is a daily routine. There is one problem I do find, that I really am not good at all in sharing the remote control. I am still at that point which goes ‘whats mine is me own.’

Perhaps I will learn to share the remote, get used to Mathematical and Astronomy programs, or maybe just occasionally I can factor in a good murder or thriller. That I will have to wait and see……..

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