Web of Deceit

a tale of love, lust, desire and deceit

What the fuck am I doing?

Not one to be over taken by swearing I should have just written WTF………  I know you all would have got that, however at the end of the day by actually using the ‘f’ word I already feel better.

I’m on that ever decreasing circle spiraling downwards wondering what the devil I’m doing yet again.

I was chatting to a young friend who is having yet more boyfriend problems. She does remind me of myself which is not such good news.

She told me that her latest beau has stopped  ‘rating’ her.. I had to ask for an explanation, apparently it means that he doesn’t respect what she does and doesn’t support. for example she has started writing rap. At first he read it and supported her, but now just ignores her.  nshe said she didn’t feel worthy. He wouldn’t kiss or show any affection. I could hear myself telling her to ditch him, she can do better than that.

Where does that bring me?? back to square one. I am fast finding out that my creativity of writing seems to make men feel not at ease. They seem to be in competition with me. I find I know longer want to share anything with anyone on account of someone ‘dissing’ me. Stupid I know, I wanted approval yet most men seem to see me and this as a threat. So my question to you guys out there is  ‘what the fuck am i doing wrong?’

1 Comment

  1. N

    You have to let someone in, and more importantly you have to love yourself before you can truly love another. like who you see in the mirror.

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