Web of Deceit

a tale of love, lust, desire and deceit

Inner Turmoil

This week has been a bit of a foggy week. Not just weather wise but in my head as well. The end of the year is fast approaching, I am trying to sort out my dead wood, and just keep with me the people I feel close to. It’s not an easy decision at the best of times.

We all have cobwebs and skeletons we try and bury and ignore, however this week mine are popping to the surface and I am trying to take them head on.  I don’t always find it easy to make decisions, I tend to allow them the do it for themselves, however I am well aware that I have to take the bull by the horns if I want change to be good and successful.

We strive to do things and have things that make our lives worthwhile and real. I have a real pull inside of turmoil and confusion this week. I am trying to make sense of things and also trying not to force them either but allow my subconscious to take over. Not very easy when I am used to controlling my conscious. It’s made me fuzzy in my head and I seem to spend a lot of time questioning myself.

I have spoken to several people this week who reassure me that it’s a good place to be in, it gives me the chance to digest all that is happening and make better decisions. We seem to want to control all aspects of our life, how we present ourselves to others, how we cling on to relationships that don’t really work, how we leave this life.

So Turmoil or no turmoil it might not be spring but the clean has started, and to those who disappear from my life, it’s not that I don’t want you any more, it’s just you don’t need me just as I don’t need you any longer.

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