Web of Deceit

a tale of love, lust, desire and deceit

Monthly Archives: May, 2013

Rule 3

Clarity is going to become my middle name. Funnily enough contact with a man that is single, free and interested does boosts one ego. Ion the other side he did text me, apologized for being shitty. I did accept his apology because I can’t imagine not being able to do so. The friendship is now …

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Rule 2

Positive chanting as I walk. This morning the sky was grey, the grass wet and the chill was in the air. I walked through the fields and woods at some ungodly hour, I know now that I must be positive in everything in my life. I know now that no one makes me feel in …

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Rule 1

The feeling of being out of control, or not in control is really rather unpleasant.  I feel inferior that someone else is better than me. That I am not worthy of even being a person. I look at myself carefully. I actually didn’t do anything wrong, this is his guilt not mine. I have no …

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Let down the first time

He didn’t come. Well there is a surprise. Just as I suspected. She’s in hospital and he typed in a text that I was very selfish. All because I didn’t ask how he was that morning. How was I to know?  She’s not my concern or my worry. I cannot deal with this, I am …

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Keeping busy

Being busy, although tiring does have its compensations, I don’t have time to miss him. Neither do I have time to see him. The text started early, it was nice to feel wanted. It brought a warm glow in me that lasted all day. I knew he was thinking of me even if I didn’t …

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NO Control

Well I don’t feel very sane today. It has been oddly disjointed and I feel I have absolutely no control. How long does it feel to find the right level? For me being the unattached one, I want more contact, for him being the attached one, he can’t give anymore time. I feel completely reliant …

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First visit

Today was wonderful; I looked forward to the afternoon all morning. He came to my house and we had an hour together in comfort. We talked, we made love, we laid together in silence. Then he was gone again. This time he didn’t say when he would see me again. “just lets be spontaneous”  what …

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First Lunch

So today I met my lover, it was lunch the first time. I was early, he always arrives, text if he’s late, despite the fact we have only just embarked on this new adventure. There will be a day when he’s late, cancels or just doesn’t turn up. There will be nothing I can do …

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Lovers guide to Sanity

The Diary of  a Lover I have embarked on the maddest thing to date. I have taken a male lover, who is married. This suprises me greatly, I have learnt over the past 2 yeras not to be judgemental, to see the whole picture, to see both sides of everything. Its not always an easy …

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